Crocodile pancakes

Dear Adobe, 
You saw my student ID in person, you have my money, you have an emailed picture of my ID, and now you’re asking for a copy of my school schedule? Seriously? I really need to finish my homework which was not saved properly due to your programs faults. So as a faithful consumer who had friends lined up who were willing and ready to pirate your shit, I would really appreciate you to stop this game and give me my photoshop code.
Yours truly,
An honest lady who payed for the program.

Hey Adobe,
Its me again, I’m still waiting for my code… its almost been a week. I tried emailing you, but I couldn’t find an email address for complaints or help, just a phone number with a $35 charge. I would really like to do my homework, because after I saved it every five minutes like a good digital painter, all my work was gone… I had to do a critique with a half way finished painting. Do you know how that feels? Not good. But I really need my code now so I can kick butt before class on Tuesday…  You have my money, my schedule, you have seen my student ID twice. I’m getting tired of this, and sad. :(
From,
A sad costumer

Adobe,
You’re lucky I found a trial of photoshop that I haven’t downloaded already. Because apparently your offices are not opened on the weekends. So I’m sure my code won’t come until after my project due date… But what ever, its fine for you’re rich enough to not have due dates, and you get weekends off. I wish I knew what a weekend with no work felt like. Well, I’m going to cut this short to go make TRADIONAL art.
bye bitch,
Bitter